“I’ll put it on your tab, Tyree”

In my writing about this period of my life; a period of pure daily fight-or-flight is coming back to me. It has been nine months since I moved from Cortez Colorado in an RV under extreme duress. In hopes of finding a place to park it and live there, somewhere near my son. There was an RV. Now there is not.

I’ve traveled from AZ to NV to Oregon to Rawlings, WY and now Rangely, CO hoping for housing. I’ve seen RV “towns” in Nevada and “tent mini-cities” in Eugene, OR. All the while just trying to find my own place without it being college housing.

One amazing thing along my way was reconnecting with my older son and meet my new daughter-to-be (in law). I am so grateful for that time and also embarrassed because I was such a complete mental, physical and financial wreck. I also got to spend some time with my daughter and her fiancé. So grateful, happy and embarrassed. They (all four) would never think that, but I do in my daily punishment regimen.

Yet, still I am still unable to get back to my young one. The roadblocks I’m facing in that endeavor have been astoundingly trivial in comparison to the time I’m missing with my son, and my son with me right now. All due to the selfishness of my abuser as well as a property manager.

There are many stories there but my point is; I have only now, had a chance to breathe…at all.

This titled phrase “I’ll put it on your tab, Tyree” was something “Mulah” would say all the time. Basically every time he gave me any money. For anything. He would often say “get a job” and “ask your kids” and “I’m not a bank”.

I actually did get a job and really tried. This is why I am disabled.

* note the May Holiday Inn, Durango stay in “Mr. Mulah’s tally.

That was my “Birthday weekend” and we dined downstair. We chose this because I had a $50 credit through Booking.com. I guarantee he is still pissed that I ended up with the $50. A far cry from the $6k a night honeymoon suite he had me researching with drop-everything urgency, for nothing.

“I’ll put it on your tab“ was his way of saying ok, fine here’s $20 but I want it back in cash or favors. Here is this huge $20 dollar bill and you owe me.

As if it were a joke.

As if it were funny.

What kind of Sociopath thinks and talks this way? Worse yet, he expected the “giggle” play-along.

This man made me beg.

~ I know it will be ok.

thanks for reading.

I‘m aware the grammar police should be out For me. Work in progress. But, the lack of parentheses on a fictitious name - was a prime example of my inability to see the obvious, at times.